Kara is now a woman

Kara's celebration in Bangkok

     Most of today's young ladies in the Philippines dream of a grand celebration when they turn 18 - a "debut" in a 5-star hotel with hundreds of guests welcoming them to society. Because not too many can afford such a lavish feast which can run into quarter of a million pesos for some families, some are just happy holding a party in their homes. But they make sure that all the trappings of the event are still there, no matter  how simple. The debutante is usually in a very fancy outfit. There are rituals of coming of age like dancing with the father and 17 other special males in her life. Then there is the 18 candles, 18 wishes, and so many other 18 somethings that can make the night very loooooooong! Of course, there is special fare that includes the  customary tall and frilly debutante's cake.

      But this was not the case when Kara, my daughter, turned 18. While entertaining the idea of hosting such a party for her,  her father and I thought it was remotely possible that she would opt for another way to mark her entry to adulthood. After looking through possible debut places and their corresponding expenses, it occurred to me that what we could afford would correspond to the cost of a trip to an Asian country. Thus knowing her love for traveling, Kara was asked whether she preferred to have a big party or a trip either to Hongkong or Bangkok. After some thought, she chose to go to the latter destination.

      So that was, to my mind, clearly a sign of her entry into adulthood. She chose what she wanted to do, not necessarily what girls her age were expected to do. She was not afraid to shun convention. There was no need for public ceremonies to see that she was her own woman. We were truly proud of her!