Did You Ever Know?


Did you ever know?

Because I could only tell you in whispers

And only when I could no longer hold back the words 

Because I could never show you

The way I would have wanted to

If we were not encumbered

By our entanglements

And fear of punishment from above


Did you ever feel, even without your arms around me

The painful throbbing inside of me that 

I would not admit to

Like the pulses of a hundred stars in the dark night 

That I refused to see


Did you ever see through my calm facade

The fear of being abandoned, the misery of being apart?

Did you ever look into my eyes 

And read the reason behind my recklessness and 

My disregard of guilt that would always plague my heart?


Did you not know for certain

How much I wanted to stay by your side?

That running away with you 

Was such a frightful option? 


Did you ever want to loudly declare

That, without hesitation and doubt,

You wanted me, longed for me

Loved me unreasonably, just as much as I did you?


And so I wonder

That if you ever really knew

Would you still have agreed so easily

To say good-bye, to unfasten our ties, to let me go. 



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