Jandrea...so far

  It was where I sought refuge from the boundaries of my boxed-in world!  It was where I could examine my failures and disappointments before I released them into nothingness!  It was where my tears could flow in copious amounts but leave me smiling in the aftermath.  It was where I allowed my spirit to soar, even to sin, without fear of reprisal. It was where God always forgave me even if I thought I shouldn’t forgive myself!  It was where my soul was nourished, year after year, so I could be who I am!

I'm spending the last few days of my Christmas break trying to make the family room a comfy place for hanging out once again. The past few years have wreaked havoc on the once, welcoming place for friends' movie get-togethers. Interspersed with dusting off boxes with beads, I am also trying lick my wounds of the past year. I am trying to nurse a wounded soul that has gone through a lot. Like the accumulated trash in the room, I am trying to look for still green patches in my blighted soul so I can face tomorrow with more positive light. Thanks for keeping me together, Lord!

Walking back to where I would spend the night, after dinner in a nearby restaurant, the mist-filled night suddenly seemed to bring on all the memories I have of Tagaytay. I was suddenly overcome with emotion, holding back the tears. This place is a repository of good, happy moments. Where great loves were born. Where children played in abandon. Food relished in the company of people who made me happy.  Of growing up. Of getting smart. Of knowing I can do something great. Of getting old and wise. It also whispers of days and nights of regret, of hopes for what can never be.  Where many good-byes have been said. One, on her way to heaven. Many, with resignation to what cannot be changed.  Always with much, much sadness. This is where solitude is most welcome, where looking inside onself is inevitable. Where my feet were washed by another. Where hurts were and are mended. Where I forgive myself for not being what I hope to be.   Tears have ...

Melde, Menchie, & Me It was a privilege being one of the adult pilgrims to the last World Youth Day celebration held in Madrid, Spain. While the event is primarily for the youth, adults or in the case of the Diocese of Cubao, mommies are most welcome to join the delegation. I was the oldest member of the delegation, with the two other mothers younger than me by a few years. My age, I tried my damn best not to show. This was not out of vanity but a determination to show that I belonged here with the youth, and that I would not be a burden to them. After Cuatro Vientos       I succeeded in having some people believe that I was just in my forties. The secret on how to do this is wear exactly what the kiddos in your group are wearing and wear dark sunglasses to hide the wrinkles around your eyes. Plus, not to admit that you are in the company of your 27-year old son and 23-year old daughter. Hehehe! But, of course, I couldn't fool my body into thinking I was ...

with "A Light of the Million Mornings" by the Philippine Madrigal Singers  http://youtu.be/mF_RvzH_IlM Truly God's love is dazzling! He fills my heart with overflowing hope that because of His resurrection, I too can look forward to my own! Happy Easter to everyone!

This is the song of my soul. That in the face of my sinfulness, the Lord will forget my transgressions using my tears of regret to wash them away. That He will always keep me near to His heart, especially at the hour of my death. http://youtu.be/P4V0achd7hY

Photo by Summer Parcon      Wishing everyone God's light in this world we have re-created in our fashion. In our quest to make lives better, we have succeeded in creating mind-boggling technology, new-fangled machines, and jaw-dropping know-how to control nature. We have learned to make use of the earth's resources to such extent that it is now gasping for breath, singing a plaintive woe to its impending demise.       Our hearts go out to the victims of the recent Typhoon Sendong. We scamper around trying to save their Present in hope of giving them a Future. Beyond that, the fury of the storm served to warn us of the devastation waiting to happen in other parts of the world if we don't get our acts together. The darkness slowly enveloping our planet and our country may be dispelled only if remember to bring back our lands, air and waters to their pristine state. It is our moral mandate to bring them back to the state when God first ga...

2011 Commissioning of members of the Ministry of Lectors & Commentators Holy Family Parish      After wearing a white blouse and and a black skirt almost every Sunday for mass the last 25 years or so, I couldn't find anything suitable in my closet this morning when I could wear something else aside from my lector's uniform.  I was on leave from the ministry in order to attend to other concerns. I realized I had no appropriate Sunday wear. In my closet were only "teachery" stuff. Only week-end gear. I wonder what that says about me? That I am no fashion plate? That I am just being practical by not buying stuff that I wouldn't actually get to use often? Or that my Sunday duties have been so ingrained in my life that it was the only thing that I really cared to dress up for?        Hmmmm... all wrong on the fashion angle! But so right on lectoring being a vital part of my life. It all begun in 1985 when I applied to bec...

Day 8, Alcorcon & Madrid: 18 Aug 2011 - Catechesis at San Juan de Mata Parish - Welcome Ceremony for the Pope at Plaza de Cibeles Today was the second day for the Catechesis at the San Juan de Mata Parish in Alcorcon. Before the speaker arrived, animators were in charge of preparing the audience for the session. During the animation, from where we were seated, I could not see the person leading the songs & accompanying movements. I normally am shy about joining such activities but “getting into the groove of things” (betrays my being a “child of the 70s”) was easy as the energy and enthusiasm of the young people around me were infectious. But there was a slight unease as I could not see the animators in the front of the church from where I was standing. So I turned to the hundred others who were imitating their movements. But it was a certain Caucasian girl in the middle of the church who drew my attention. Maybe because she was directly in the line of my astigmatic visio...

Day 6, Caceres: 14 August 2011                 The journey continues... so far, it has been both joyous and challenging. My children and I have been blessed by being given the chance to be here, together. It is an opportunity that may never come again and thus, I am determined to make the most out of this pilgrimage to strengthen not only our filial bonds but also our connection to our Catholic faith.                             Today, the Cubao pilgrims joined in the celebration of the Holy Mass with the community and the families from the Parish of Beato Spinola which hosted our group for the Days in the Diocese. We were asked to lead in the singing of some of the mass songs. Thus, we chose to sing “Purihin ang Panginoon” which we had learned to sing with parts in Spanish, English, and Fil...

For the story and more pictures ... http://mycubao.org/2011/10/07/cuatro-vientos-a-precious-privilege-wyd11-reflection/

Saturday, September 29, 2007 Chapel of USC, Talamban Campus Kung minsan, parang ang layo-layo mo...  Lalo na kapag nagagalit ako... sa mundo.  Sa mga taong di umaayon sa mga pagkilos na inaasahan ko...  Sa mga pagsubok na sunod-sunod.. Sa mga pangangailangang di matapos-tapos... Sa aking pangungulila sa mga kaibigang nawala... Sa kadilimang sumisilip mula sa kalaliman ng aking diwa.

Saturday, July 08, 2006  1:08 am T his is the place where you are right now God circled on a map for you - Hafiz Where is the place I am right now? Am I happy where I am? Questions that will have different answers depending on when they are asked. My boss asked me one day through text if I were happy with my life. I said, "Oo naman!" but had an urge to add "but it could be happier". But this is what I said - "I have learned that my life's blessings far outnumber the tears I have shed." Was that the politically (spiritually, would be more like it) correct thing to say? Did I really believe that? On another day, I could have said it with conviction. But what was it about that day that made me hesitate? I guess God draws many circles on the map. He gives you a choice and the one which you choose is one that should make you happy. Now, if only making the choice weren't so hard!  

Tuesday, January 23, 2007  2:59 am "Serving God is not our initiative, but our response and responsibility.Be confident because God is behind us." He has a way of answering questions to which you already know the answer. I have been discouraged in continuing to serve the parish. There are people who seem to be getting in the way of my seemingly "enlightened" path to servanthood. I do want to leave the ministry because of them. I sometimes look forward to worshiping on Sundays at my convenience and not worrying about keeping my weekday mass assignments. But giving up is not included in God's job description of a faithful servant. He reminds me once again (and again and again) that it is Him I serve and no one else. The way is stoney but picking up the stones (to throw at B and H... Sorry, Lord. I couldn't resist it!) is part of the journey to Him. He is indeed behind me!  

 10/23/2009 12:13 am                                                                 (Image from the FB album of Toinette Bernales) This is where, as a child, I discovered how it was to be in communion with the Spirit. Entering this place opened a way for me to be close to a Supreme being. I was in awe of Someone so much bigger than me yet the intimacy of the small place seemed to be an embrace from Him who loved me. Even then, I guess, solitude was something I sought. I found solace in the soft light and the simple beauty of the chapel.I remember now that I would take a few minutes each day to pray like a young girl would. I was so sure that He was always there to listen to me. The ch...