Jandrea...so far

     For my sister , Ling, who always provides me the biggest pieces in this evolving thing... Many of us go through life looking for that single, perfect person who will make us happy, make us whole. We go around looking vulnerable, showing the gaping hole in our hearts, thinking that someone special out there has the power to stop the bleeding. Maybe it will be a guru who will provide all the answers to our life questions. Or a soul-mate who will always be in sync with our thoughts and will rejoice in our shared idiosyncracies. Or the love of one's life who will feed our desires and provide the reasons for bliss and contentment. And of course, many of us, if not all, end up disappointed in this impossible quest. In my fading years, I can say with utmost certainty that we can never rely on any one person to make us complete. Aside from holes in our heart and spirit which call for mending, parts of us were never with us to begin with.  I think t...

Thanks to my sister, Ling, for the very beautiful bouquet of flowers.  Love you, sis!   I think I was born a mother.  You're right, I didn't say I was born to BE a mother but was BORN a mother. Let me explain. I'm the eldest of 3 children. In the Philippines, there's a long list of duties in the job decription for eldest children. In summary, an "Ate" or "Kuya" is tasked and expected to be another parent to their younger siblings. While this position entails serious responsibility, it also grants some power and privilege to a child merely by way of his birth position. So even  as a child, being constantly reminded by the elders, I took my role pretty seriously.  As far as I can remember, my parents willingly shared adult duties with me, expecting me not only to help with the kids but also with household management even at a young age. My siblings didn't seem to have any problem following my lead. I didn't mind mothering them because they r...