Jandrea...so far

Badjao Restaurant, Palawan FMM convent, Tagaytay      Anything worth having has to be pursued through many roads, many of them bumpy. A few of them may provide interesting sights along the way. Sometimes, one thinks, the journey is just as, if not more important, than the destination. A good friend of mine said, "Victory is in the struggle and not in reaching the goal. Failure is when I don't struggle anymore."  Wise words coming from someone in a very difficult journey of fighting for his life. Moon Garden, Tagaytay      Many times, we trudge along wearily, not realizing all that we gain by our tenacity. We move forward, little by little, each step a little cause for celebration. Each accomplishment strengthens our spirit, increases our resolve to reach our goal.      The end is not always in sight. Sometimes, we think it is impossible to reach it. At times, it seems not worth all the effort we put into ach...

Yes, I'm sick! I'm not too sure if it's the flu because I'm not showing all the symptoms. Well, not all at once anyway. Here's a rundown of the unfolding of the ailment:                      First, started getting woozy Sunday evening. This, I attributed to a high cholesterol lunch of batchoy.              By Monday, woozy had progressed to dizzy - a mild attack of vertigo which prevented me from going to work.           Tuesday, my nose started to drip more than usual. Nothing that a boxful of tissue couldn't handle. Or so I thought!           On Wednesday, I had to force myself to go to work even if I was sneezing violently all over the place.           Thursday,  there was very li...

Piano Recital at Ensemble Hall, SJC Saturday, October 29, 2005 I must have been 10 or 11 when I nurtured visions of myself playing on a stage of a large concert hall. But that dream was not to be. After studying piano for maybe 14 years, I realized the only audience I would end up impressing with my playing would be... no one. Not even myself! Today, those thoughts were confirmed while struggling with a piano piece that I have studying. After a few years, I still can't get it right. Drat and a double drat! Anything "artistic" that only some can aspire to do, I have at least learned how to do at some point in my life. I can play the piano, guitar, and marimba. I sang with a choir for some years, even earning a chance to be soloist at least once. I have acted in and even directed plays, performing in many corners of the country. I even used to paint a little and when inspiration moves me, still try to draw. Dance lessons were part of my summer repertoi...

            Mama had 2 birthdays. As young children, we always celebrated it on December 12. Then when she applied for a passport when I was about 10 years old, she had to secure a copy of her birth certificate. Lo and behold, on it her birthday was January 31, 1923! How that came to be, no one could explain. My Lola said that she was sure Mama was not born on the date written on that piece of paper. How can that be when all her other legal documents bore December 12, 1922 as her date of birth? But there was no one to ask about the circumstances of her birth registration. So everyone surmised that the clerk must have made a mistake of writing the date when her birth was registered as the date of birth. That would have put the issue at rest but no, my mother could not be comforted by that explanation. She just had to make sure that we didn't miss out celebrating the day she was born.          So, ...

At 53    As I get older, it seems that getting friendly with my Id has become less dangerous. It is not as threatening to my Ego as it used to be.I've noticed that not only am I less fearful about speaking my mind, I've also allowed my mind to speak in not so wholesome ways.      I've allowed wicked thoughts to slip through the sturdy and unyielding barriers of yesteryears. For example, when I see people with very unattractive physical features, I think about descriptions that are definitely politically incorrect. However, ehem ... when I see very attractive men of every age, I immediately imagine possible dalliances ( Joke lang, T! ) People who fail to meet my expectations are berated with sometimes unkind words ( Silently, of course! )  Then there's my ever-increasing temptation to butt in when overhearing conversations of strangers. I just have this need to correct errors, offer answers to their questions, and oh, just say anything...

          The loss of very close friends of mine continue to haunt me even after many years. Although I am constantly reminded by well-meaning people that time heals all wounds, I still cannot get to that place where what happened no longer matters. That might be because I have not learned to forgive them for the pain of not knowing what it is I did or did not do to deserve what they put me through.            Lately though, I've imagined myself forgiving them, saying "Ok na ako. Ok na rin sana kayo!"  I've abandoned my idea that in order for a person to be forgiven, he or she must acknowledge his or her wrongdoing and apologize for it.  It is highly unlikely to happen so why should my soul suffer over someone else's  inability to show remorse? Maybe I did deserve to be severed from their lives. Who knows?!            This realizati...

           I've always been an APO fan. I love their easy-to-listen to music, the way they seemed to enjoy singing together all these years and of late, their contributions to the political scene. But as a teen-ager,  I was particularly interested in  Jim Paredes. For me, he was the most attractive of the 3 members. I have followed developments in his career and personal life. Even now, I follow him on Twitter and read his blog. I've never paid to much attention to Danny Javier and Buboy Garrovillo except to think that the former seemed to be the smartest and the latter was cute in a little boy way.          But things kinda changed when I met Buboy in person last November 2010. Yes, he was still cute as he didn't seem to be too different from how he has looked since I was in high school. But it wasn't that which struck me about him. He seemed to be just a guy-next-door who wasn't trying too hard to be the cele...