The movies in my mind

As a child and through my teens, I literally made up movies in my mind! In the movie, I would be the protagonist and I would have a handsome love interest who was cruel because he was clueless about how much I was suffering because he loved someone else! I would come up with lines that I would constantly revise until I came up with the most clever repartees and most memorable lines! The stories would  be sad in the beginning but usually ended happily. But not always! The tragic endings I concocted had me actually but secretly shedding tears and feeling sorry for myself!

Now, during this period of uncertainties with too much time to think, I find myself creating stories again! But unlike in my youth, they are not purely from my imagination. The movies have scenes  straight from events in my life that I would have wanted to forget but cannot.  The settings are in familiar, everyday places but with a significance known only to me. The  dialogue is lifted from unrehearsed and unscripted lines spoken in the heat of a moment or the extended minutes of final good-byes. The characters are based on real people who have left my heart shattered but also on those who have held my hands to hasten the healing of my soul! The stories do not have box-office happy endings nor will you leave my imaginary theater all weepy and with a heavy heart. My movies will have the viewers just smiling sadly knowing that it wasn’t the ending we would have wanted but it was the only one that could be.