Mother's day 2011

Thanks to my sister, Ling, for the very beautiful bouquet of flowers. 

Love you, sis!

 

I think I was born a mother. 

You're right, I didn't say I was born to BE a mother but was BORN a mother. Let me explain. I'm the eldest of 3 children. In the Philippines, there's a long list of duties in the job decription for eldest children. In summary, an "Ate" or "Kuya" is tasked and expected to be another parent to their younger siblings. While this position entails serious responsibility, it also grants some power and privilege to a child merely by way of his birth position. So even  as a child, being constantly reminded by the elders, I took my role pretty seriously.

 As far as I can remember, my parents willingly shared adult duties with me, expecting me not only to help with the kids but also with household management even at a young age. My siblings didn't seem to have any problem following my lead. I didn't mind mothering them because they respected my authority and appreciated my nurturing. To my chagrin, my parents seem to think my mothering bit could extend to them. Forgetting I was just a child, they ran to me for advice for their personal problems and wanted me to referee their verbal tussles and emotional skirmishes.I always felt that I was in the middle of a tug-of-war and it was my heart that they were wrenching apart.  It was always a psychologically exhausting task as they didn't really need my advice but only wanted an ally for their eternally different perspectives on life. Both of them always managed to do the opposite of what I thought would be the best move and of course, the things they wanted to change would remain as they were.  From all these, I learned that I could only try to share my solicited thoughts and it was not up to me to solve the problems of the world!

Now that I'm a mother to my own children, I realize that without my much earlier bouts with mothering, the challenges I face with them would feel unsurmountable. But no, because I've had a lot of practice, I know things will always turn out well in the end. All we need is a lot of faith in our abilities to transcend problems  and a firm belief that our love for each other will see us through.